Fostering Dimensions dedicate themselves to providing foster children with safe and secure homes, but other foster children move on from their foster family – back to their families or to another placement. No two fostering journeys are the same and Fostering Dimensions have resources, support and an online community to support foster carers throughout what can be an emotional period regardless of where they are on their fostering journey.
Why do fostering placements come to an end?
There are many reasons fostering placements may come to an end. Your foster children may return to live with their birth family or older teenagers and young adults may be ready to live independently. Regardless of the reason, you have to be prepared.
Other times, the child will be moving on to live with other foster carers, possibly a place where they can stay long term. Some will be adopted. Fostering Dimensions can help make this as easy as possible by supporting you and your foster children by passing on useful information in order to prepare you.
Sometimes, fostering just doesn’t work out. Foster carers are not superhuman and have the right to ask for a child to be moved on if they feel that would be best for them and their family.
Whatever the reasons, foster carers will experience a range of emotions when their foster children leave their home.
There are so many positives to the overall fostering experience, but it also comes with a number of unique challenges. Therefore, it is vital to understand and develop preparation and coping methods for the process of saying goodbye to a foster child. It’s not always easy, but learning to cope is the hallmark of a good foster parent.
What to do when the placement ends
Stay positive – By keeping a positive attitude, it will allow you to deal with the overall experience of saying bye to your foster children. Fostering Dimensions always advise foster carers to think of all of the good experiences you had whilst your foster children were with you and more importantly, the positive impact they have on your lives. But remember, it’s a two-way thing. Always keep in mind the positive impact you had on their lives too. After all, without you, they would be in a very different situation than the one they are moving on from. Naturally, it will feel empty at first and you may experience the feeling of loss saying goodbye. However, you have enriched, shaped and helped their lives in just the same way. As a foster parent, staying positive can also help to rally your family or whoever else might be experiencing a similar reaction to saying goodbye to a foster child.
Don’t Alarm the Child – You’ve overcome a lot of challenges, from identifying whether you can foster to saying bye. The last thing you want to do, when saying goodbye to your foster children, is to make them aware that anything is wrong. They may be doing the exact same, so it’s best to allow the experience to remain as stress-free as possible for you and them. Fostering Dimensions appreciate how hard this may be and there might be a few tears. This is normal and it is okay as long as those tears are reflective of good times and good experiences.
It’s okay to deal with grief – Saying goodbye to your foster children can feel or be a very big loss in your life. It’s vital that you give yourself time to grief and process the loss. You have to appreciate the change that has occurred in your life too, both for yourself and your family as a whole. But remember, you are now alone. Grief can be a shared experience, with your family and with Fostering Dimensions. Saying goodbye to a foster child is a legitimate reason for the feeling of loss, so don’t be afraid to admit to and deal with these feelings. If you need someone to talk to, we’re always here for you.
